Archive for anger release

Are You Tired of Feeling Angry, Resentful and Fearful?

It’s a fact, most of us feel anger, resentment and fear on a daily basis. There are healthy ways to lessen their harmful effect on us and the people we encounter (pets too). It should be noted that I am not a therapist; only someone who has experienced it along with the following exercises.

Frustrated guyFirst of all don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way. It is natural. The answer isn’t to eliminate them, it’s how we respond to them. If you can accept that; you’re halfway there.

Holding on to anger, resentment and fear too long is so very harmful to our emotional, physical and spiritual health. I learned some time ago that resentments in particular are much more detrimental and poisonous to the owner. The other people usually have no idea.  While therapy may be appropriate I want to offer a list of healthy and often much more immediate relief. 

Even a short break from the distress is most welcome.

Try these exercises to get relief from feeling angry, resentful and fearful…

  1. Sit comfortably, close your eyes and focus on long slow breaths for as little as 30 seconds. Of course longer is better. This can briefly take you away from the negative thoughts. Identify the location in your body that carries the stress. Breathe into that area. Repeat as needed. The beauty is you can make this happen while you’re stopped at a red light.
  2. Grab a piece of paper and without judgement write down in incomplete sentences or just one word the source of distress. This moves it out of the toxic mind. Determine the validity of the disturbing thought. Next to each write the word “REAL”  or “IMAGINED”. (Is it real or fake news?) Remember, our minds can lie to us. Thus conjuring the saying, “We are our own worst enemy.” This exercise may eliminate feeling overwhelmed and many of the items on your list. When complete symbolically destroy the lies and discard.
  3. Consider your life in general or reflect about today. Write down what you have to be GRATEFUL for?  For example in no specific order.
    • I have a roof over my head with running water and indoor plumbing
    • I have food in my refrigerator
    • Money in the bank
    • My ChildrenParent Child
    • My significant other
    • My Car is there for me
    • My pet
    • I live in a free country
    • I love my music
    • I love my sense of humor
    • My friends
    • My body allows me to be mobile, dance and play sports.

See if you notice a shift. This isn’t one and done. Repeat from scratch each time. I hope these few exercises give you a lighter and more satisfying presence.

Here are Simply Smashing Rage Release Room, we offer you a bit of respite from feeling angry, resentful and fearful. Click here to book a room and come and smash your frustrations away. 

 

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How You can Smash away Anger and Frustrations in a Rage Room

What happens after someone smashes away anger and frustrations in a Rage Room?
Releasing anger and frustrations in a rage room

“That’s Amazing!”

“That was Awesome!”

These are the exclamations expressed by over 95% of the people who exit the rage room after a 25 minute session of breaking stuff.

At Simply Smashing, “a Rage Release Room” we offer recreational and therapeutic destruction of inanimate objects. Two-thirds come in just to have a great time doing what they’ve always wanted to do without consequence. The rest come in to alleviate all levels of stress from a bad day at work to a tragedy in their life. Therapists and life coaches often come in to let go of depression, anxieties, anger and frustrations. Over 60% of our patrons are women.

I had no idea how profound an experience this would be for so many people.

I’d like to share 2 stories that made a huge impression on  me…

A woman came in with her 8 year old son twice. Just 6 weeks after his father was diagnosed with cancer, he passed away. The boy was so angry and confused — pivoting between depression and acting out. Mom was dealing with her own grief and wanted to do anything she could to help her son. 

Because Simply Smashing is “a safe place to lose control”, they yelled, screamed and even cried together. They finished and came out with a huge satisfied smile on their faces.

Facing Cancer Anger and Frustrations

A woman of 28, wife, mother of two young children, found out she had untreatable, terminal cancer. She made an appointment for her and her best friend from back east, who she just picked up at the airport. Immediately afterwards, they were planning to drive up the west coast to spend what was most likely their last time together. She was handling things with so much courage and acceptance. She said the silver lining was that now she could spend the little time she had left with the people she loved, doing things she always wanted to do but had put off.

I had the honor to see what they wrote on the blackboard to cast off the remaining anger that was not welcome on their quest. It is very touching and inspiring.

Simply Smashing Rage Room Blackboard of anger

Rage Room participants write about their anger and frustrations on the blackboard.

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Why are We so Angry & What Can We Do About it?

In an article on StatesboroHerald.com, writer 

The shooting of a U.S. congressman this summer by a man described as “always angry” reminded Americans that while anger is a biological necessity, it can rapidly morph from a life-preserving force to a deadly one.

Unrestrained anger causes some to murder people they profess to love, such as the Draper man who shot Memorez Rackley and her son. It compels people to set police cars on fire, to chase drivers who accidentally cut them off in traffic, and to pelt store clerks with avocados. It causes politicians to body slam reporters, as happened in Montana in May.

And it’s anger, not religion or politics, that is the root cause of terrorism across the globe, says one neuroscientist who has studied why anger causes people to become violent.

“It’s a huge problem, and it’s a growing problem,” said R. Douglas Fields of Bethesda, Maryland, author of “Why We Snap, Understanding the Rage Circuit in Your Brain.”

In a survey conducted by Esquire and NBC News last year, roughly half of Americans said they’re angrier than they used to be, and nearly 7 out of 10 said they’re angered by something in the news at least once a day. The National Institutes of Health says more than 16 million Americans have a condition called intermittent explosive disorder, in which people get angry out of proportion with the circumstance…

Why we get angry

Anger begins with a threat, real or imagined, that is detected by a part of the brain called the amygdala. Only about a half-inch long, the amygdala is on high alert even when we’re busy or distracted, and it’s so sensitive that even a picture of person who is frowning can set off a chain of reactions designed to protect us and our families from harm.

Adrenalin, cortisol and testosterone flood the body, giving us energy and focus, and fueling aggression. Blood races through the body, our breathing grows shallow and fast, and our heart pounds, preparing us for a fight. Even our facial expressions — narrowed eyes and a scowl — warn other people to back off.

The rapid-fire impulse to react to serious threats is what enabled human beings to survive in ancient times, said Fields, the neuroscientist in Maryland.

Does a Rage Room Work?

Why are We so Angry & What Can We Do About it? …if you’re struggling with anger issues of your own, stay away from other angry people, particularly on the internet. One 2013 study found that people who read online rants for five minutes became angrier themselves.

For anger that has another underlying cause, such as depression, a class of drugs known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (such as Prozac) can help, as does cognitive behavioral therapy, Potegal said.

If all fails, try an anger room, which is safe, and if nothing else, entertaining. At Tantrums in Houston, Baker will custom-design a room with images of things, or even people, who make you mad. In November, she prepared one room with mannequins that looked like candidates Hillary Clinton and Trump. Everything was smashed by the time the customer left the room.

Well, we’ve got a Rage Room coming soon in Tempe. It’ll be a fun place where you can let go and smash your frustrations away.

However, not all anger issues can be fixed in a Rage Room. With that in mind, we’ve complied a list of local Phoenix Area Stress and Anger Management Therapists. The list is not conclusive, it’s random, and we don’t endorse any one on it, nor are we affiliated with any of them. If you’d like to be added to the list, please provide the name of your clinic and website in the comments below.

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What are the Origins of the Greek Tradition of Smashing Plates?

It’s a classic scene at a Greek Restaurant or Wedding — smashing plates.

How did the tradition of smashing plates get started?

In ancient and medieval times, it may stem from a practice of ritually “killing” the ceramic vessels used for feasts commemorating the dead.1

It also may have been a way for the wealthy to show off by breaking dishes in the fireplace instead of washing and reusing them.

Breaking plates can also be a symbol of anger, and the sound of shattering crockery is a classic part of domestic disturbances.1 The shattering noise was said to drive away evil spirits or unwanted guests.

Smashing plates in modern culture

When visiting Greece, a tourist might expect to see plate smashing at a restaurant or night club. Unfortunately, due to the cost of replacing the plates, the custom is banned. However, it does happen occasionally, especially at weddings. In those cases, the plates smashed are ceramic, which are less expensive and the party has to buy then in advance!2

Here’s a video of a Greek Wedding Smashing Plates Dance

Now, Rage Rooms are reviving the old tradition of smashing plates to release anger, stress and frustrations. At Simply Smashing Rage Release Room, we’ll provide the plates. You can even write whatever’s bothering you on the plates before you smash them. You’ll come out feeling great! Moreover, you don’t have to clean up or replace them! We’ve got you covered!

Smashing soon in Tempe!

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  1. Why do Greeks break plates?
  2. Plate Smashing Wikipedia

Top photo: screen shot from wedding video.

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How to Handle Anger: 5 Dos and Don’ts [Infographic]

We all get angry at people, situations, the news, politicians and life in general. How you handle your anger makes the difference. There are some things that are beyond your control and you have to face it. But when your anger is with a person, there are a few things you can do: both good and bad.

Here are 5 Dos and Don’ts from CounselingRecovery.com on how to handle your anger.

How to Handle Anger: 5 Dos and Don'ts {infographic]

We can absolutely help with the #4 “Do”! A Rage Room is a healthy outlet to express your frustrations. It’s a room where you can lose control by breaking stuff.

Coming soon to Tempe! Join our email list for a special invite! 

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42 Ways to Cool Down Your Anger [Infographic]

Everybody gets angry. Whether it’s the coffee maker that doesn’t want to work in the morning, to the traffic jam on the way to work, to the computer crashes and whatever other device or technology that doesn’t work like it’s supposed to. But it’s the way you handle or manage your anger that makes the difference. 

In this infographic from Simply Stepping, they list 42 ways to help you cool down your anger. And we’ve added a 43rd at the end! 

They broke it down to 3 stages of anger:

  • When you’re arguing with someone
  • When you’re on edge
  • When you’re fed up

42 Ways to Cool Down Your Anger

And here’s our #43: Go to a Rage Room. It’s a safe place to lose control. It’s where you go when punching the pillow isn’t cutting it. We’ll be open in Tempe, AZ very soon. Get on our list for a special invite! 

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